Been hitting a few snags with the boiler of late. Last week, it cut out completely so I decided to ‘give it a go’ myself. My mate Skeletor fitted the gas pipes in the first place, and he had no qualifications whatsoever, so I figured it couldn’t be too hard for me, as someone who uses gas lighters on a regular basis.

I feel sleepy. I’ve been up all night reading about heaters. Couldn’t see a pilot light, which seems to be where it’s all happening these days in gas boilers. Once you light that, you can expect to have hot water in half an hour. One promising forum post I read suggested turning the gas on and leaving it to run for eight or nine hours, and then lighting the pilot. It’s nearly been that long now, but I started having second thoughts around the five-hour mark when I realised that a lot of gas must be escaping through the door in the boiler cupboard, so I stuffed towels in the cracks and it’s fairly well sealed. With that much gas building up I reckon once I light it we should get hot water in a matter of seconds, kind of like deep-frying a piece of chicken, except the shower will be hot, not the food. Something will happen, surely. I can fit right in the boiler cupboard – it’s quite big – so I think I’ll sit in there for the last hour or so, then I can seal up the cupboard from within. Maybe I can fit my comfy chair in there. That’d be nice. I’m ever so sleepy.

To be honest, I think I could use some help. Please give me your suggestions. The way I see it, even ten replies from whoever’s out there is surely better than one ‘expert’ opinion, for which I would very probably have to pay upwards of £30 for. No, I think the safest, cheapest way to resolve this is through the internet. I was a bit worried about trying to fix it myself at first, but one thread entitled ‘modern boilers have all sorts of safety measures built in’ informed me that, in fact, modern boilers have all sorts of safety measures built in, and that it’s always best to have a crack at fixing gas problems yourself – after all, it’s really not as dangerous as many household activities, such as chopping or trying to get golf balls into a mug with a pitching wedge. People say it’s dangerous to mess around with gas, but these people are living in the dark ages. I mean, people say that mercury is dangerous, but where’s the proof? It’s just a made-up theory to scare people, like AIDS, or the holocaust, and I can’t be thinking about the holocaust when a gas pipe is threatening to make showering a lot less fun than it used to be.

So please do leave me a reply if you have any advice. I’ll check this blog again after I get some shut eye. It’s gone unusually quiet in the house; I haven’t heard a peep out of my flatmates for some hours now. Perhaps they’re sleeping too.

Ah, heaven. Literally heaven. They played Stereolab as I sat in heaven’s waiting room, in which only the magazines I like were strewn about a big white coffee table. I met a chap from CORGI, the Council for Registered Gas Installers, who showed me the error of my ways, and pointed out exactly where it was I went wrong – apparently, I should never have pissed about with the gas myself. Turns out that muggins here should have contacted a reputable firm such as British Gas, who offer advice on gas maintenance. If I’d used my brain I wouldn’t be dead now, dead of poisoning and explosions.
Been hitting a few snags with the boiler of late. Last week, it cut out completely so I decided to ‘give it a go’ myself. My mate Skeletor fitted the gas pipes in the first place, and he had no qualifications whatsoever, so I figured it couldn’t be too hard for me, as someone who uses gas lighters on a regular basis.

I feel sleepy. I’ve been up all night reading about heaters. Couldn’t see a pilot light, which seems to be where it’s all happening these days in gas boilers. Once you light that, you can expect to have hot water in half an hour. One promising forum post I read suggested turning the gas on and leaving it to run for eight or nine hours, and then lighting the pilot. It’s nearly been that long now, but I started having second thoughts around the five-hour mark when I realised that a lot of gas must be escaping through the door in the boiler cupboard, so I stuffed towels in the cracks and it’s fairly well sealed. With that much gas building up I reckon once I light it we should get hot water in a matter of seconds, kind of like deep-frying a piece of chicken, except the shower will be hot, not the food. Something will happen, surely. I can fit right in the boiler cupboard – it’s quite big – so I think I’ll sit in there for the last hour or so, then I can seal up the cupboard from within. Maybe I can fit my comfy chair in there. That’d be nice. I’m ever so sleepy.

To be honest, I think I could use some help. Please give me your suggestions. The way I see it, even ten replies from whoever’s out there is surely better than one ‘expert’ opinion, for which I would very probably have to pay upwards of £30 for. No, I think the safest, cheapest way to resolve this is through the internet. I was a bit worried about trying to fix it myself at first, but one thread entitled ‘modern boilers have all sorts of safety measures built in’ informed me that, in fact, modern boilers have all sorts of safety measures built in, and that it’s always best to have a crack at fixing gas problems yourself – after all, it’s really not as dangerous as many household activities, such as chopping or trying to get golf balls into a mug with a pitching wedge. People say it’s dangerous to mess around with gas, but these people are living in the dark ages. I mean, people say that mercury is dangerous, but where’s the proof? It’s just a made-up theory to scare people, like AIDS, or the holocaust, and I can’t be thinking about the holocaust when a gas pipe is threatening to make showering a lot less fun than it used to be.

So please do leave me a reply if you have any advice. I’ll check this blog again after I get some shut eye. It’s gone unusually quiet in the house; I haven’t heard a peep out of my flatmates for some hours now. Perhaps they’re sleeping too.

Ah, heaven. Literally heaven. They played Stereolab as I sat in heaven’s waiting room, in which only the magazines I like were strewn about a big white coffee table. I met a chap from CORGI, the Council for Registered Gas Installers, who showed me the error of my ways, and pointed out exactly where it was I went wrong – apparently, I should never have pissed about with the gas myself. Turns out that muggins here should have contacted a reputable firm such as British Gas, who offer advice on gas maintenance. If I’d used my brain I wouldn’t be dead now, dead of poisoning and explosions.

Daniel Higgins
http://www.articlesbase.com/shopping-articles/boiler-hassles-688572.html